The Chosen Four

I could have chosen a longer list of values—there are many that matter—but I decided to keep it simple and stick with four. Simplicity creates clarity. These core values act as a compass for the program, guiding both the coaching process and the men going through it. Too many values can dilute the message, making it harder to stay focused. By narrowing it down, I made sure each one carries real weight and meaning. They’re easy to remember, easy to apply, and together they form a solid foundation for growth, resilience, and long-term change. (WAVE)

The Heart of the Journey: Our Core Values

Fatherhood after divorce isn’t about getting back to normal; it’s about building something new — something stronger. It’s about resilience, not just for you, but for the legacy you leave behind. These core values are the anchors that keep you steady through the storms. They are what will guide you, transform you, and redefine what it means to be a father and the man you want to be.

WILLINGNESS

Willingness is about choice. It’s the decision to rise above the past and commit to moving forward — even when it feels easier to stay stuck. It’s the courage to be open, to ask for help, to try again. In fatherhood, that willingness is what will bring you through the tough times and what will allow you to create something real. You don’t need to have it all figured out, but you do need to be open to change.

ACCOUNTABILITY

In the face of challenges, it’s easy to shift blame. But real strength lies in taking responsibility for your actions, your role, and your future. Accountability doesn’t mean perfection; it means embracing your power to choose differently. When you own your mistakes, you set the stage for your kids to see how it’s done. They need to know that mistakes don’t define us — how we respond to them does.

VULNERABILITY

As men, we’ve been taught to guard our hearts, but vulnerability is where connection is born. It’s not about weakness; it’s about breaking down the walls that separate us from the people we love. Being vulnerable with your kids — showing them your humanity — teaches them compassion and strength. It’s the willingness to say, “I’m not perfect, but I’m here.” That’s the model of resilience they need to see.

EVOLUTION

Fatherhood is a journey of constant evolution. Who you were before and during the divorce is not who you are now, and certainly not who you will become. Evolution means embracing growth — learning to lead with patience, with presence, and with intention. Your role as a father is always changing, and your ability to evolve with it will ensure that you continue to show up in a way that supports your children’s future and your own.

Core Values In Action

1. Willingness

What It Could look like:

You might show up as the guy who says “I’m fine” when you’re anything but. Or maybe you come in guarded—arms crossed, already halfway checked out, not sure if this is for you. You might mask it with anger or defensiveness because letting your guard down feels like weakness. Maybe you overcompensate—trying to crush every task, prove you’re strong, prove you’re in control. Or maybe you sit in silence, not because you don’t care, but because the weight of it all has you frozen.

Hell, maybe you crack jokes every time the conversation gets real—because keeping it light feels safer than being seen.

However you show up, it’s real. And that’s the point. You don’t need to walk in fixed. You just need to walk in willing. Willing to get honest. Willing to take a hard look at what’s not working. Willing to try something different. That willingness? It’s the spark that changes everything. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being committed to something better.

2. Accountability

What It Could look like:

Accountability isn’t just about checking boxes or doing what you said you’d do. It’s about owning your sh*t—past and present. It’s being honest enough to say, “I screwed that up,” and strong enough to do something about it. This isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. When you take full responsibility for your choices, you stop playing the victim and start leading your life again. That’s where resilience gets built—through consistent, intentional action. Real growth starts when you stop hiding from the work and start showing up for it.

3. Vulnerability

What It Could look like:
Vulnerability—yeah, I can already hear the ‘pass’ in your head. But before you tune out, listen this may present as you getting angry or frustrated about something you haven’t worked through yet. It’s about taking off the mask and showing up as who you really are. For divorced dads, it means owning the emotions you’d rather ignore and figuring out how to express them in ways that help you connect with your kids. Maybe not in the present moment, but it will never be obsolete. Real strength is in being honest, not hiding behind a facade.

4. Evolution

What It Could look like:

Evolution shows up in the quiet, gritty work of becoming a different man—on purpose. In 1:1 coaching, evolution isn’t loud—it’s in the quiet shifts. It might be catching yourself before shutting down, choosing to stay present in a tough conversation instead of running from it. It’s showing up to a session you wanted to skip, saying, “I knew I needed this.” These aren’t surface wins—they’re deep indicators that something’s changing. You are not chasing perfection—you’re doing the work, one honest moment at a time. That’s what real transformation looks like. It’s recognizing an initial reaction or thought can be handled differently. From surviving the day to building a life he’s proud of. Evolution doesn’t mean becoming someone new—it means finally showing up as who you were meant to be.